Parenting

Sometimes I worry about being a good parent. When I'm thinking of the "future" with my four to seven children I'm not sure that the four to seven are all smiling at me. Sure, there would be years when they might be happy and want me to be their mom. But it's those years I'm worried about. I can handle the bullshit teen years and the semi sarcastic middle school years (assuming I don't home school my kids) but the stuff in between when kids really need you to be an adult and really need to be kids. I'm scared about that. I'm afraid I won't know what to do. I know naturally, since I have never been a parent that of course until that day when I screaming and kicking and throwing curse words and punches and my adoring husband, I will never know really how much I don't know about being a parent. I'm scared not because I don't think I can do it. Every parent fakes their way through but I'm scared I won't be grown up enough, that I won't forsake my childhood ideals to let my kids grow up. I don't buy into the cute little ideals like "Gilmore Girls" where the parents grow up with the kids. I just don't think it works that way. If it were that simple they wouldn't have a show like "Teen Mom". Anyways, all I'm trying to say is said, I don't know if it makes sense but it's there. It's what I think.